diaper changeI recently read the book “Do Cool Sh*t,” by Miki Agrawal, thinking it would give me some much-needed inspiration after being at home with the kids for almost five years. And, although it is a very good read – filled with practical business-start up tips and memorable anecdotes – I was left feeling old and unaccomplished.

In “Do Cool Sh*t” Agrawal said, “I wrote this book because I wish someone had told me earlier that this kind of life was possible…”

She started her first business, a farm-to-table pizza restaurant called WILD, at the age of 26.

What was I doing at 26? Uh…drinking way too much bubble tea.

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After the birth of my second son and after the initial chaos of getting used to caring for an infant and preschooler subsided, I started to mentally prepare for all the things we “had” to do – school schedules, swimming lessons, mandarin classes. My older son was only 3, but as the “experts” say, you’ve gotta start them early, right? During this time, I started to feel a tinge of sadness, but I couldn’t pinpoint the reason. After this feeling persisted for a while, I realized that I was completely focused on fulfilling “their” dreams, even though I wasn’t finished fulfilling my own.

As I wrote in a past post, I bought a $100 clothes rack from the art store, from the moment I came home with my first baby, my thoughts and actions were consumed with caring for them – feeding, bellychanging diapers, bathing, sleeping. It took me, perhaps, longer than others to realize that I could let go…a little.

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I’m now two years older…and a little wiser. And although I’m still working to fulfill my own goals (it’s never too late), every time I read with my little boy, I caress his soft, chubby belly and think, “I wish someone had told me earlier that this kind of life was possible.”